The Dreaded One Comes Anyway

   I tried as hard as I could to will tomorrow from coming but it doesn't look like I was very successful and it looks like as unfortunate as it is... February 22nd is going to come anyway and I will be turning 30.
   I can't really explain why I don't want to turn 30 or why I am dreading this birthday so much.  It just seems so final to be out of my 20s now.
   I mean, I'm glad I'm no longer the idiot I once was, but still.  I'm going to miss my younger days.  I know a few years from now, I'll be saying the same things about being glad I'm no longer the idiot I am today (or something to that effect).
   As some people know, CW and I have had to work on our birthdays so we decided to celebrate on our days off.  We went bowling and out to eat yesterday with my parentals and grandma.  Today we went out shopping.  I bought a few books and a water infuser I've been wanting.  I know, it's silly, but damnit, I really wanted one.  I mean, all I drink is tea or water, why not liven it up once in a while?
   Maybe that's why I'm so sad... it's like my birthday isn't a big deal because I have to work?  I haven't had to work on my birthday in almost a frickin decade.
   I'm off to wallow in self pity and read for my last 2 hours of being 29.  Oh what an exciting life I live.

Damn you, Getting Older...

   Yesterday, my nephew turned 1.  I love that little boy so much.  As I thought about his birth and him getting older, it reminded me of my upcoming birth anniversary.  In 9 days, I will be turning 30.  Something I've been dreading for a long time now.  Especially over the last year.

   Everyone I tell laughs at me and tells me how young I still am, or that 30 isn't old.  I'm not saying 30 is necessarily old, I'm just saying that I will no longer be young.  I'm no longer going to be in my 20s.  No longer a bebeh.  I'm officially an adult.  Yeah yeah, I know that I was considered an adult at 18 but seriously? Are we really adults at 18? At 30... I mean, you're forced to realize that you need a skin regimen and that wrinkles are going to start appearing eventually and that you're halfway to 60.

   I mean, ever since CW and I started dating the years seem to fly by faster than normal so, before you know it, I will be looking at a giant 6 and a 0 on my birthday cake.  I'm not even joking, it seems like just yesterday I was 25 and I was dating a young 29 year old man... now we're turning 30 and 34... 

   I don't have anything special planned for my birthday other than my normal family things, my husband isn't one to plan things on his own or even think of stuff like that, so I don't have to worry about over the hill surprises like my mom had on her 30th birthday.  I'm just kinda sad that my 30th birthday is so depressing for me and is going to be so low key as well.  I don't even know how to explain myself...