Saturday, May 19, 2012

And ANOTHER Two For One Special...

Day 12: Things You Want to Say to an Ex
  I suppose it depends on the ex.  With this, the only ex I really couldn't get in touch with is my very first boyfriend, the rest, I know where they are via facebook, or email.  Him, however, he was way back before the internet was so mainstream.  Even though he was in and out of my life (even when the internet WAS mainstream, the internet was never a way for me to find him and I've never been able to find him on it) for a good chunk of my teenager years, as an adult, I never really got the closure I desired with him.  What I mean by closure is, I never got to shove the good shit that happened to me in his face.  

  I met Ron when I was 15 and he and I were off and on till I was ALMOST 19.  He was my first real boyfriend.  Now, we were never together for more than 3 months at a time, and really, after the first time we were a couple, we were never an official couple again.  We just kinda hung out.  This is what I would tell him:

"I bought MY OWN house when I was 19.  Despite you trying your damndest to make me feel ugly there were people out there who felt I was beautiful.  I've been in a relationship with one of the most amazing men alive for almost the last 4 years.  I don't remember why I thought you were so smart when I was 15 because when I was 18, your intelligence level was still the same after 3 years and mine had grown so much, that's why it was so easy to say goodbye to you and that was why I had no emotions for you when you expected me to.  When I needed you most, you weren't there, you made me feel like shit for that loss.  As if I had any sort of control.  I was all alone in something that I couldn't tell the world.  It took two of us to create yet I was the one alone in the loss. My heart bled, my soul was broken. I was only 18.  My only chance at something I wanted so bad in life and now it is gone forever.  I was alone when I saw that positive and alone when my world came to a crashing halt.  You were such a terrible person to me and I will never understand why.  I was so young and so inexperienced, yet you poisoned my view on men and relationships for years.  You made me HATE the idea of marriage and long term relationships for so long, that it took finding my soul mate to change that around.  I'm glad that I found him though, because now I know that there are GOOD men out there, no thanks to you."

Day 13: A Date You Would Love to Go On
  I'd like to go to a bed and breakfast with a spa.  That would be awesome.  CW doesn't like that kind of stuff though. Too frou frou for him :/