Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Having Some Early Birthday Whine...

As I get closer and closer to my birthday [it's exactly one week away] I am forced to reflect upon the days when I used to wish for time to fly so I could hit each milestone the first being 18 so I could get tattooed and pierced without getting into trouble... Really when you're 18 that's pretty much all you can do other than buy porn, lottery tickets, join the military, and go to prison.  Oh and legally buying ciggies.  I'd buy those too.  The next three years were pretty much a waiting game because...

Then came the days when I wished to be 21 so I could obviously get drunk [legally] and go to bars with my friends, buy my own booze, order fun shots, play drinking games, be the fun partyer I was meant to be. It seemed to take FOREVER to get here.  Back THEN it seemed like the time frame between 20 and 21 was way longer than 365 days, it was more like 500 days.  All of my friends were turning 21 way before I was which made it that much worse.  It sucked asshole.  It made my days longer.   I mean it, during that summer, the days had like 24 hours of sunlight and the nights had like 10 hours of moonlight... the winter was like the opposite... it was pure hell.  So well my friends were barhopping, I was at home, doing... nothing... watching infomercials or something.

However, once 21 hit, the years came faster.  Shortened from 365 days to 300 days... and then Once 25 came the years were shortened to 250 days... and now... I am going to be 29... Living these hella short ass years that are flying by outta nowhere.  I am DYING HERE... like literally.  What's next after 29? Do my years get shortened to 200 days?  It's really unfair.  I don't even remember being 25 now.  I don't even remember being 26 or 27 or 23 or 24...  because TIME HAS BEEN FLYING.  Maybe you don't even get like days in the hundreds once you hit 21... maybe you only get like 99 days a year... This all seems too short... seriously, I can't REALLY be 29?  But alas, and sadly... I am [going to be in a week].

Life is short as it is and here I am with these shortened years that NO ONE felt the need to tell me about. It seems as though no one thought it important to say, "Oh by the way, Jessie, your years are going to get shorter the older you get, so enjoy being a dumbass kid.  Enjoy 365 days, NOW."  People SAY it's still 365 days, but no seriously, the years get shorter the older you get and time just flies by.  It's like one year you are 21 and acting a fool and the next year you are turning 29 and preparing for marriage and being a REAL adult, not the kind of adult that the world says is "adult" but a real adult, the kind that knows proper manners in public and doesn't act like an idiot, the kind that acts responsibly, the kind that understands and doesn't just act a part.  If I'd have known that bills and jobs and stress came with this "adulthood" crap, I'd have actually tried to enjoy my childhood a little more.  I would have actually tried to be a kid a little longer instead of trying to act all "mature" and junk when it was socially acceptable to act my age.  Now when I throw tantrums and whine, people look at me funny.  :)

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