Thursday, March 14, 2013

Driving Phobia

   Most of the time, I know I'm being ridiculous.  When it comes to driving or being in a car, I can't see it.  Ever since my last accident in 2008 I have this insane fear of cars, driving... seeing high speed chases on TV... you name it.   It's kind of crazy, I understand.  I just can't really explain it.  I now have this fear that my tires are going to fly off at any given point while I'm driving or that some asshole on a cell phone is going to rear end me or some suicidal maniac is going to choose my car to end their and my life.  While I'm driving every inch of my body is tense.  I feel like I'm going to break.  My teeth are grinding so hard and my mind is in constant fear of every single person who has an IQ less than what should be required to have a driver's license.
    I never used to be like this when it came to driving.   Once upon a time I was a normal driver, well normal for a young person, kind of bordering on reckless.  Then after my accident I had this fear wash over me.  My accident was the other person's fault, and after this I realized that yes, most people are fucking morons who don't pay attention while driving (at least in this state) as I have come to observe.  With the last 5 years spent being an extremely cautious driver (or passenger) I've witnessed a woman swerving into my lane while ON THE FREEWAY GOING 65 (or thereabouts) and PUTTING ON MASCARA, who the fuck does that?  Seriously? At first I looked over to see if she was on her cell phone because most idiots who drive like that are drunk or on their cell phones and nope, she was just putting on her fucking make up.
   A couple of weeks ago some other douche was driving really fast then started slowing down and swerving into my lane, I was like WTF?  And as he caught up to me I saw he was NOT EVEN LOOKING AT THE ROAD, BUT AT HIS CELL PHONE.  I could tell it was his cell phone because the screen was all lit up at night.  He did not ONCE look up at the road while he was driving.  I let that asshole get about 200 feet ahead of me and drove about 2 lanes away from him because he was constantly swerving from lane to lane.  Not cool.
   These are just a COUPLE of things that happen and they are CONSTANT.  Have most people not seen 7Pounds? Do people not watch the news?  Read newspapers?  Hell, even see news stories that come up on their Facebook feed??? PEOPLE ARE FUCKING DYING FROM ASSHOLES NOT PAYING ATTENTION WHILE DRIVING. Fuck all the gun bullshit that's going on in the media, it's cell phones and braindead fuckwads driving and TALKING OR TEXTING on them WHILE DRIVING or not paying attention while driving, or trying to be "cool" and driving like an idiot, or some other bullshit that is actually causing a lot of accidents hence, death or injury.
   Yet, my fear is just kind of brushed aside by some like it doesn't matter.  I'm sorry, it does matter.  It's huge.  It won't just easily go away. I'm finally able to actually drive again (with the help of therapy) after not wanting to do so for a couple of years, but that doesn't make the fear go away any more.

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